Back off Ladies, That was MY Boyfriend in the Inflatable Garfield Suit
I know you all wanted a piece of that fine, orange ass. I heard your whistles when he walked by, your rawrs. I felt your...
My Suggestions for Throwing a Truly TERRIFYING Halloween Party
The Rib's official list of bone-chilling Halloweekend party themes! Featuring DIY escape rooms and Hamilton.
Upon Lackluster Response to Bagpipes, Pro-Lifers Turn to Pole Dancing Instead
In a spectacular display of tone-deafness, a group of bagpipe-playing pro-lifers found themselves on the receiving end of a cacophony of boos, jeers, and bewildering...
Brown Hires Pro-Life Bagpipe Troupe to Encourage Students to Keep Activism Efforts Local
When asked for comment, President Paxson admitted to having invited the crew to campus, saying that she thought they would serve as a powerful reminder...
Student Feeling Up Fruit in Andrews Like It’s Farmers Market
“It was incredibly intimate in a way that made me deeply uncomfortable, but also strangely sad.” One witness lamented, “She was never going to find...
“Let’s Meet in the Perelman Arts District!” And Other Useful Phrases for Getting Out of Plans
The Perelman Arts District is an extremely vaguely defined region, making it the perfect place to schedule a meet-up with your least favourite friend –...
BREAKING, Shit-spicions confirmed: Fox News reveals Poo-no statue an elaborate prank
Tucker Carlson has been playing the long game. Who could have predicted that a bronze shit-shaped commentary on what we put on pedestals is in...
“The Golden Bachelor” Causes Spike in Crushes on Ancient Professors
He's sexy AND old!
Student Whose Phone Went off in “Absolute Quiet Room” Escorted Away by Men in Suits, Now Missing for 7 Days
Last Tuesday, freshman Ann Oing went missing. She was last spotted in the “Absolute Quiet Room” of the John D. Rockefeller library. Witnesses to the...
Shocking News! Local Woman Does Not Smile When Told to
In an astounding turn of events that defied all known laws of physics and psychology, a woman did not obey the age-old decree of “Give...