My Experience as a Spelling Dog in 5th Grade
In preparation for the spelling bee, my mom acted like I was a dog. Let me explain.
My Pre-Emptive Gap Year
Not only should I get the same respect that those who take gap years command, I should get MORE because I delayed my learning progression...
October Horoscopes to Rustle Your Jimmies
c'mon now...come close. learn the truth even if it scares it you
What If I Haven’t Been A Bad, Bad Boy? An Innocent’s Guide to Rice Purity
Because of my fear of other peoples’ bodily fluids, I had remained unexposed to the world of genitals, a realm of sex, drugs, and rock...
Anxietitty Support
ThirdLove has created bras that claim to fix gaping cups and digging straps, but still, no one has provided me with a bra that accommodates...
Ask The Rib: Help! Every Time I Sit On A Couch I Start Talking About That Traumatic Incident From Third Grade
"It wasn’t until I realized that there was not a single stock image of a flower on the wall that I finally remembered I was...
An Intimate Look Inside the Diary of a Cereal Addict*
I’m definitely eating a lot of Lucky Charms lately, but it’s only because sorting the marshmallows from the cereal is a lot more fun than...
Worst Text Messages You Could Receive that I May or May Not Have Received
“Hey” Ahh they reached out haha! Ugh what do I say? “Heyy”? No that’s one too many y’s.. Or is it? Or should I say...
Male Feminist Smoking On The Front Steps Of The Rock Wants You To Know He Started Reading Marx In Sixth Grade, Not Seventh, You Forgetful Little Slut
Can you believe he was a mere twelve years old when he grasped the nuances of the M-C-M, or money-capital-money, theory? Wow! Some say this...
Lucky For You, That’s What Bruno Mars Likes. Here’s What Happened to the Ones Who Weren’t So Lucky
Here are their names. These are their stories. Lest we forget.