Reminders that I am not a lesbian
I am proud to say that I am straight as a circle. But alas, I still possess a ~reluctant~ attraction to m*n. They’re sweaty, bossy,...
Posts by sarahz12:
No, I Don’t “Watch Too Much True Crime”, I’m Just Profiling My Dogs
Dogs are mysterious. What are they thinking? Why are they staring? Why are they so picky when deciding on a place to go the bathroom?
Don’t Read This Article Unless You’ve Voted
If you are within the first 100 donators, Donald Trump will send you a PERSONAL thank you and an open-mouth kiss.
I’m The Naive Dad In a Horror Movie, and This Is My Daughter Who Is Not Possessed
No, Muriel, I do not think Glennifer has been acting strange. Now excuse me while I creepily stare at the black TV screen for an...
Is This a Record of Me Being High OR an Attempt at Artsy Satire?
My mom KNOWS I’m high and I can’t hide it no matter what I know.
Hi I’m Karen I’m a First-Year and I Really Want My Roommate to Love Me
“Goodnight,” she says to me. “Goodnight,” I respond cheerily. This is the first time she’s ever told me goodnight. She will never know how much...
Yelp Reviews of Sarah Z.
“The best thing that has ever happened to me. She is my star and I am her sky. I never want to lose her. She...
Worst Text Messages You Could Receive that I May or May Not Have Received
“Hey” Ahh they reached out haha! Ugh what do I say? “Heyy”? No that’s one too many y’s.. Or is it? Or should I say...
Having Stories Interrupted is My Seventh Circle of Hell
I’ve tried to just force everyone to listen to the rest of my story. Like, I’ll roll my eyes and pretend I need to clear...
My Application to Brown University
Honestly, I applied to Brown because of Untitled Bear/Lamp. When I looked at him, I could picture his creepy smile and demented button-eyes staring at...