Who Will Text Me When the 2020 Election is Over?
I didn't realize just how committed these candidates were to reaching out to voters and (more importantly) reaching fundraising goals. But now the texts are...
Your Next Hookup: How to BLOW THEIR MIND
Try this: while kissing your partner passionately, keep your eyes open. If at any point your hookup partner opens their eyes to readjust, make sure...
Sorry I’m Not Clean-Shaven, No Matter How Much You Like To Pretend My Bare Head Is An Ice Cream Cone
I just can’t be all fresh and oily every waking minute, no matter how much fun it is to lick my freshly shaven scalp and...
Worst Text Messages You Could Receive that I May or May Not Have Received
“Hey” Ahh they reached out haha! Ugh what do I say? “Heyy”? No that’s one too many y’s.. Or is it? Or should I say...
Look, All I’m saying is that the SciLi Basement is the Perfect Place for a Grocery Store
The basement already serves as a site of socialization, food-sharing, and caffeine-induced tears. Why not add a little bit more flavor?
Male Feminist Smoking On The Front Steps Of The Rock Wants You To Know He Started Reading Marx In Sixth Grade, Not Seventh, You Forgetful Little Slut
Can you believe he was a mere twelve years old when he grasped the nuances of the M-C-M, or money-capital-money, theory? Wow! Some say this...
Lucky For You, That’s What Bruno Mars Likes. Here’s What Happened to the Ones Who Weren’t So Lucky
Here are their names. These are their stories. Lest we forget.
I Went On A Quest To Find My Virginity But The Real Virginity Was Inside Me All Along
One day, I woke up with an unidentifiably strange feeling within me. Suddenly, I realized what it was– I was missing my virginity! I was...
The Only Person Who Can Help Me Through My Thayer-Induced Grief is Michael Scott
Exploring the illogical economics governing Thayer and the six stages of grief as described by Michael Scott.
Five Books Every White Feminist Should Lie about Having Read
The Awakening is considered one of the first feminist books and is way ahead of its time in many regardsThe Sparknotes version is a terrific...