A First Year’s Advice on Eating at the Ratty
Just because you put some french fries in a bowl, toss a slice of American cheese on top, and pour on some gravy doesn’t mean...
I’m Smart, Pretty And Funny, But He… Has A Prominent Jawline?
Yes, his personality is essentially "inherited wealth makes me a free spirit," but how can you expect me, a feminist, to resist a chin that...
My Application to Brown University
Honestly, I applied to Brown because of Untitled Bear/Lamp. When I looked at him, I could picture his creepy smile and demented button-eyes staring at...
Every Time I Walk Past The Mural on the Side of CVS, I get Sucked into an Alternate Dimension. Is that Normal?
I can't be the only one who gets sucked into an alternate dimension by the CVS mural, right?
My Pathetic Lungs Can’t Handle “Speaking Up,” Professor
You're sitting in a lecture hall of fifty. The professor keeps asking questions. You're asked to "speak up." Your thirst for knowledge has been quenched...
And the Oscar goes to…Not Irina Shayk
Ah the Academy Awards. Hollywood’s biggest event unfolded this past weekend. There were winners, there were snubs, but there was one clear loser: Irina Shayk. ...
QUIZ: Why Did You Leave Your JUMP Bike in the Middle of the Sidewalk?
Number 1, who do you think you are, and Number 2, why would you do this to me?
Feets Of Strength
It's a pun.
Healing Crystals for College Kids
Not 100% backed by science, but hey, Gisele Bundchen uses them so they must do something right.