Women are on the up and up in the 21st century. In the US today, it is no longer shameful to be an independent, outspoken, purposeful woman. The opposite is true; it is something that women strive for. By no means has the feminist cause reached completion, but the progress we have made is nothing to ignore. That’s why as a feminist, I couldn’t be prouder to be a woman. My female friends are the strongest, bravest, most patient people I’ve ever encountered. And then, obviously, there’s me. For a woman, I am so amazing–people have even been known to call me the “Full Package,” and on occasion I’ve been told that I’m a “Literal Goddess.”
But in no way (in NO way) am I or any of my strongbravetalentedsmartbeautiful™ friends any match for this guy who has a Prominent Jawline. How could we be? Everything about that jowl gives me butterflies (down there). Yes, his personality is essentially “inherited wealth makes me a free spirit” and “I respect women since I have a sister except when they don’t laugh at my jokes.” And yes, he has the maturity level of a boy half his age, but how could someone expect me to resist his chiseled chin? Especially when he strokes that mighty mandible, deep in thought, about to brag about how much he meditates, it’s almost impossible for me, a thoughtful woman, to not be totally swept off my feet. Seriously, what a jaw.
It’s also important that I mention how much of a feminist he is. He respects women so much that he’s infatuated with a new one every week! I know I’m a feminist, but when he objectifies every part of me (i.e. my looks and my personality), I literally couldn’t care less since I’m so seduced by his chin. At this point, I would probably give up my first-born child just to be around that patchy stubble and inflamed razor burn.
When my friends try to point out that his jawline is “not that great,” or that he “told everyone he was going to an Ashram silent retreat but instead went clubbing in Europe,” I just try to block out their hate. Who are they to tell me to not let a good jawline ruin my aspirations? Anyway, a jawline’s job is to cut glass, not the glass ceiling.
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