brown university – Page 3 – THE RIB OF BROWN

“Let’s Meet in the Perelman Arts District!” And Other Useful Phrases for Getting Out of Plans

Posted on October 25, 2023 by Mia Lane

The Perelman Arts District is an extremely vaguely defined region, making it the perfect place to schedule a meet-up with your least favourite friend –...

BREAKING, Shit-spicions confirmed: Fox News reveals Poo-no statue an elaborate prank

Posted on October 22, 2023October 10, 2024 by The Rib

Tucker Carlson has been playing the long game. Who could have predicted that a bronze shit-shaped commentary on what we put on pedestals is in...

Student Whose Phone Went off in “Absolute Quiet Room” Escorted Away by Men in Suits, Now Missing for 7 Days

Posted on October 22, 2023October 24, 2023 by Rachel Kamphaus

Last Tuesday, freshman Ann Oing went missing. She was last spotted in the “Absolute Quiet Room” of the John D. Rockefeller library. Witnesses to the...

How to Stay Fed Off Meal Plan

Posted on September 20, 2023 by lucy lebowitz

After 3 years of being coddled like a helpless infant, coming off meal plan is truly such a rude awakening. But have no fear! Here...

A Day OFF College Hill

Posted on May 3, 2023May 4, 2023 by Sam Walter

Sidewalks are swarmed, the Main Green is mobbed, and Faunce is filled to the brim. This can only mean one thing: ADOCH. I think I...

Breaking News: Humanities Students Discover Barus and Holley

Posted on April 27, 2023April 27, 2023 by Sophia Wotman

Turns out Barus and Holley isn’t just for STEM majors, folks.

A Proposal to Tom Holland

Posted on April 26, 2023April 26, 2023 by Lulu Levy

Dear Tom Holland, You don’t know me, but I know you, or at least the “you” you present to the public. Back when I was...

Feeling Too Safe on Campus? Call a Dangerwalk!

Posted on April 4, 2023April 4, 2023 by Sofie Zeruto

With the end of timely warnings following DPS’ exciting arrest of the Orbee Gun Fiend (which I sincerely hope culminated in a high-speed car chase...

Girl Talk: I Just Found Out That My Roommate Is Closely Related To Ex-Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev. Advice?

Posted on March 21, 2023March 21, 2023 by Ruth Engelman

First of all, I would like to assure you that this is not an uncommon experience. I'm sure many other readers have discovered that their...

Girl Who Sold Clothes on Main Green Once Now Considering Economics Major

Posted on November 14, 2022November 14, 2022 by Mia Lane

She just understands business.