How to Know if You’re Ugly
We all wonder this to ourselves: I don’t think I’m ugly…but…do other people think I’m ugly? Now, if you’re not one to care about what other...
Best Coast
Image via Isabela Miñana Lovelace
Timothée Chalamet’s Career-Ending Haircut
It’s been almost one year since Timothée Chalamet graced movie screens in all of his peachy glory in Call Me by Your Name. He giggled his...
I’m Not Like Other Girls; I Have an Extremely Rare Condition that Makes Extra Bones Grow in My Head
See, most guys want a skinny blond girl with rich parents, designer clothes, flawless makeup, and the normal amount of bones in her head. Girls...
8 Productive Habits for Midterm Season
You finally made it. Midterms. Get through this week and you’ll have all of Thanksgiving Break to revel in the joys of Netflix and avoiding...
My “Chopped” Application
Images via Sarah Clapp. “Chopped” via “Chopped.”
250,659 Eye-Catching, Come-Hither, Be-My-Wife, Government-Sanctioned Guidelines to Dress Like a Woman
The National Propaganda Bureau National Security Agency Endorses This Message. Hey Ladies, welcome to our first edition of DYSTOPIAN COSMOPOLITAN. Today we come to you...
Cartoon Characters Ranked By Their Pure Sexual Energy
I’m not proud of this. Truly, I’m not. But, look, some cartoon characters are just too fuck-able not to name. Too fuck-able not to be...
World Domination
Image via Isabela Miñana Lovelace.
I Live For The Thrill of Not Password Protecting My When2Meets
Ah, September. The beginning of the school year, the Jewish year, and my own personal rotation ‘round the sun. With the onset of this new...