This week, in my class, Histories of the Future, we have been discussing Singularity Theory. Singularity Theory says that there will be a moment in the near future in which technology will create entities with intelligence that exceeds that of humans. When this time comes, we will say goodbye to the human era. This may sound out there, but it has become a serious concern, and many public figures like Stephen Hawking and Bill Gates have sounded the alarm on Artificial Intelligence research that could go awry.
Elon Musk warned to his tech colleagues that they “could be creating the means of their own destruction.” Human extinction could be the result of a total accident if we’re not more careful about Artificial Intelligence work.
Well, I’m here to say, save it, Elon Musk! We’re already screwed, and I’m the proof: my gmail controls me.
Yes, you read that right. We don’t need to be concerned about a robot army exterminating the human race, or a superhuman computer that makes every element of human existence meaningless, because we’re already at the mercy of AI, and it’s gmail.
It wasn’t always this way. I don’t know if gmail got stronger, or if I just got more submissive, but there used to be a time where my inbox went unchecked for days. Back in the good ol’ days of Google Buzz, my gmail was my last priority. I had other 6th grade friends to scream into the void with, who cares about emails? That’s no longer the case. Every morning, I sit in my bed and check the emails I got overnight. New York Times Morning Briefing (must read), Today@Brown (must read), at least 5 spam emails (delete), and any number of logistically distressing emails about classes, jobs, and other life stressors.
Every minute that I am on my computer, which is 70% of every day, I have my email open on one of my tabs. Sometimes I have it open on two tabs. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I have it open on a third tab, on a different browser, just minimized in the bottom of my screen. In my free time, I sit and wait to get emails. I wait for Canvas to email me so that I can start to do my homework, the study abroad office to email me so that I can start to apply for a student VISA, and my boss to email me so that I can start doing research. I have missed so many social plans just because I am too attached to my email to walk away.
A single email could throw off my entire day. Oh, I have an info session at 6 pm today that I completely forgot about?? Guess I’ll cancel my dinner plans and sadly eat out of a ratty to-go box as I speed across campus.
On the rare occasion that I stop paying attention, and suddenly realize I have anywhere from 3 to infinity new emails, I get a rush of adrenaline that is a mix of downright fear and a perverted sense of joy. I think I’m starting to develop a form of Stockholm Syndrome. It’s almost like I get a false sense of security from having my life dictated by my email–it means that I will probably never have to make any decisions for myself. My gmail already tells me what to do on a day to day basis, what’s to say it’ll stop there. I would confidently say that my gmail will tell me what job to take, who to marry, when to have kids, and every other important decision I could ever have to make.
So, the next time you hear someone babbling about the Singularity, AI, Sophia the Robot, or whatever else, you can inform them that it’s too late–we’ve already lost control to gmail, and human extinction is right around the corner.
Image via Christine Wang.