8 Productive Habits for Midterm Season
You finally made it. Midterms. Get through this week and you’ll have all of Thanksgiving Break to revel in the joys of Netflix and avoiding...
My “Chopped” Application
Images via Sarah Clapp. “Chopped” via “Chopped.”
250,659 Eye-Catching, Come-Hither, Be-My-Wife, Government-Sanctioned Guidelines to Dress Like a Woman
The National Propaganda Bureau National Security Agency Endorses This Message. Hey Ladies, welcome to our first edition of DYSTOPIAN COSMOPOLITAN. Today we come to you...
Cartoon Characters Ranked By Their Pure Sexual Energy
I’m not proud of this. Truly, I’m not. But, look, some cartoon characters are just too fuck-able not to name. Too fuck-able not to be...
World Domination
Image via Isabela Miñana Lovelace.
I Live For The Thrill of Not Password Protecting My When2Meets
Ah, September. The beginning of the school year, the Jewish year, and my own personal rotation ‘round the sun. With the onset of this new...
A 2018 Senior Toast
As the year comes to a close and our beloved seniors come so close to graduating, it’s time to send them off into the big...
5 Newer New Ways to Surprise Your Partner in Bed
If there’s one thing lady magazines have taught us, it’s that sex can never be too adventurous. Every month, they crack the codes to make...
My Past Week as Told by Google Searches
You can tell a lot about a person by looking into their eyes or putting yourself in their shoes (especially if they’re fully downtrodden Birkenstocks)....
I Didn’t Raise My Son to Wear Sunglasses on the Back of His Head Like Guy Fieri
Dear John, You had a happy childhood, right? As your mother, I did the very best I could to swaddle you and make you feel...