Two-Wheeling Trick o’ Treating
by Emily Adams Relationships are rare these days among our generation, especially given the increased college hookup scene. Commitment, pft. But if you are one of the lucky...
To Anyone Who Has Ever Handed a Child a Box of Raisins for Halloween
Dear Boxed Baby Raisin Loving Neighbors, Oh, Halloween. I look back on my childhood memories of trick or treating very fondly. At the end of the night, my...
“Sexy” Costume Ideas
It’s that time of year again, ladies! The nights grow cold yet the clothing comes off as we squeeze into our favorite sexy costumes for multiple upcoming Halloween parties....
The Haunted Outdoors: Beware
This year, as always, countless people will flock to houses that are decorated with orange and black (not to be confused with Orange is the New...
Breaking News: People Search for Porn on Google
by Ali MacLeod I love Google. I use it every day of my life. It can answer every question I have, from “Where’s the nearest Starbucks?”...
#AskHimMore
Did you hear that?? What sounded like a sack of wet, aged leather falling out of the trunk of a car? That’s right, it was another...
Important! Halloween PSA
This is going to be the best Halloween ever. You’ve had your costume planned for at least a month. The idea came to you suddenly,...
Open Letter to the People Who Don’t Text Back – Parents Edition
To my parents, who don’t always text back right away: this letter is for you. Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Abby, there are days...
The United States vs. the Candy Corn States
Dear Oregon, Wyoming, Tennessee, Texas, and South Carolina, It’s us, the other forty-five states. We know what you did. We saw the map. You picked...
Costumes for the Laziest of Us
I love Halloween. It is hands down one of the best holidays of the year. The free candy. The pumpkins. The parties. But if there’s...