October 4:
Look at her, Muriel! I know it’s not easy to, we’ve had so much trouble having kids since our first. But she’s all alone and suddenly appeared at our front porch at 2:00am in the pouring rain! We gotta take her in. Give her a chance. Besides, our precious Glennifer could use a sister.
October 20:
Muriel, baby, I really think our new daughter MethAnn has endured god knows what when she was younger, which I’m sure is why she can’t speak. I’m sure whoever used to take care of her forced her to do gymnastics as well, and that’s the reason she can turn her legs at that weird angle without breaking her neck. Plus, I’m sure she practiced “climbing up” the walls all the time in P.E.
November 11:
Okay, I’m listening to you! Just calm down. I honestly don’t understand why you feel “unsafe,” and I find your coldness toward MethAnn to be a bit rude if I’m being honest. MethAnn sweetie stop attracting so many flies! MethANN don’t let them get into your mouth like that!
December 3:
No, I don’t think our new house in the middle of nowhere is haunted. Yes, honey, I think the shed is perfectly fine. I really appreciate these tools laid out for us. Not that I chop trees, but I’m sure someone will find a use for the machetes!
December 19:
Muriel, listen, I know you’re sick of taking away dead birds from MethAnn but we all have to make sacrifices sometimes. I drove her to school the other day and let me tell you, it was a hassle. Did you know that she talks now? Guess she’s just shy. Also the other day I swore I thought I heard her speaking Spanish to her teacher but turns out, it’s Pig Latin! Goddamit, she’s got potential to get into Harvard!
January 2:
No, Muriel, I do not think Glennifer has been acting strange. Now excuse me while I creepily stare at the black TV screen for an hour.
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