candy – THE RIB OF BROWN

Venn Diagram of People Who Put Toddlers in Q’Anon Costumes and People Who Say Kids “Couldn’t Possibly Know They’re Gay Yet” Actually Just a Circle.

Posted on October 29, 2020October 29, 2020 by Ari Brown

She was adamant that while she is not homophobic, she does not believe a child could possibly know he was gay until he was “at...

Parents! Check your kids’ candy wrappers!

Posted on November 1, 2019November 1, 2019 by Gabby Bianco

Gone are the days of simple razor blades. Stay vigilant grownups.

S-train-ger Danger

Posted on April 11, 2016May 9, 2016 by Elizabeth Purington

Last week, I headed to the train station for the commute home only to discover that my train was delayed. Naively assuming that this meant...

Catify Your Galentines

Posted on February 11, 2016October 2, 2016 by The Rib

by Emily Adams It’s the Monday after Fourth of July, or as CVS knows it, a day too late to begin the Valentine’s blitzkrieg. In...

Buying Guide: Gingerbread Houses

Posted on December 7, 2015May 9, 2016 by Sam Crausman

I consider myself a professional gingerbread house constructor. Definitely not professional enough for, say, a national competition, but I’d be lying if I told you I...

What to Do With Your Halloween Candy

Posted on November 1, 2015May 10, 2016 by Abby Espiritu

It’s November 1. You’re lying in your bed (possibly hungover from last night’s festivities), enjoying that extra hour of Daylight Savings Time, when suddenly, your...

Halloween: The Most Stressful Time of the Year

Posted on October 30, 2015May 10, 2016 by Nicole Martinez

The spookiest (or spoopiest, depending on how in tune you are with the internet) time of year is approaching and, honestly? I’m just stressed out...

To Anyone Who Has Ever Handed a Child a Box of Raisins for Halloween

Posted on October 29, 2015May 10, 2016 by Yuri Iwahara

Dear Boxed Baby Raisin Loving Neighbors, Oh, Halloween. I look back on my childhood memories of trick or treating very fondly. At the end of the night, my...

The United States vs. the Candy Corn States

Posted on October 27, 2015May 9, 2016 by Elizabeth Purington

Dear Oregon, Wyoming, Tennessee, Texas, and South Carolina, It’s us, the other forty-five states. We know what you did. We saw the map. You picked...

How to Say in Candy What You’re Too Polite to Say in Words

Posted on February 28, 2015October 13, 2016 by The Rib

I first learned about the communicative power of candy when my first grade teacher passed out Smarties before a spelling test. Wow, I thought, sugar=...