Snapchat is Ruining My Life
I am a typical millennial. I am obsessed with Instagraming artsy pictures of food. I spend more time on my phone during family gatherings than...
The Condemning Concentration
Earlier this week, I received an email that may or may not determine the rest of my path through life. “Congratulations, your concentration has been...
Confessions of a Zillow Addict
I like to think of myself as a financially rational human being. In the future, I envision living in an average-sized home, nothing too showy or...
Ask Me About My Recessive Jaw
Just when I thought all my dental problems were over, another issue arises. Despite the fact that I had braces six times, my teeth, like...
How to Be Gwyneth Paltrow: College Student Edition
by Nicole Martinez Are you a rich, famous, pretentious, attractive individual? Of course you’re not! You’re a bloated college student whose diet consists of Jo’s mozzy sticks,...
Ratty Romance (And Other Dining Hall Dream Dates)
I had a dream that I got hit on at the Ratty salad bar. An at-night dream, an aspirational dream, both—who’s to say? The point...
I Was Sexy (and Then I Finished Reading)
I discovered my sensuality in the Ratty. No, this is not a joke. On a chilly Saturday morning, I sat down to breakfast in the...
Will The Real Lorne Michaels Please Stand Up?
Over spring break, I happened to casually coincidentally walk past 30 Rock at 1:20 AM on a Saturday night, right as SNL was letting out....
Buying Spring Weekend Tickets: A Time Log
I think the process of buying Spring Weekend tickets is stressful and annoying for everyone. It seems that website crashes are a dime...
On Turning Twenty
A few weeks ago, I turned the big two-oh. I think that in an unfortunate oversight, we as a society often fail to appreciate the...