A Letter from Teresa Giudice to her Jailed Husband
On March 23, Joe Giudice, husband of The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice, reported to federal prison where he will spend the next 41...
Bee Wars
This past weekend, our room had an intruder that tried to break in on not just one but two separate occasions. On Sunday, this demon...
Sober at SW
I was sober at Spring Weekend this year. Shocking? Maybe. Apparently, not everyone at this prestigious institution is a perfect golden child like I am....
Spring Weekend: A Fresh Perspective
My Spring Weekend probably went a little differently than yours. While you were pregaming with friends, bedecked in your finery of crop tops and glittering...
Putting the Pro in Procrastination
It’s a common affliction for the modern college student: procrastination, that self-sabotaging mind game of avoidance, excuses, and more often than not, falling into the infinite...
Coachella vs. Spring Weekend
Entrance Coachella – Parks car in parking lot and walks a mile to find the entrance. Prays that the machine will recognize the wristband. Spring...
A Series of Unfortunate Hook-ups: Part II
Two years ago, I spoofed Lemony Snicket’s “Series of Unfortunate Events” for my debut on The Rib by cataloguing the absurd hook-ups that defined my...
Have We Met Before?
Last week I met someone for what felt like the seven-thousandth time. In reality, it was only the fourth or fifth time, which is still enough...
To The One Who Broke My Heart
My Dearest, I hope you are well. It’s been a couple of days since you walked out my shitty Perkins door, and I know you...
Pass(These Damn Exams)over
Well, it’s that time of year again. Your friendly neighborhood Jews are throwing out all their baked goods (protip: Passover is the best time of...