Men May Have the Patriarchy but They Do Not Have Morning Skinny
With a certain presidency already off to a rocky start, let us find comfort in knowing that men may have the patriarchy, but they will...
Why I Believe All Banks Should Be Piggy-Shaped
On a great lack of whimsy.
Rats Outraged at Lack of Rodent-Sized Amenities at The Ratty
The Rib’s intrepid dining hall reporters recently were served a piping-hot plate of tea, straight from the smallest and furriest residents of the Sharpe Refectory,...
I Hate The Lindemann
I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I...
Shaving Their Initials Into Your Pubes and Other Ways You Can Manifest Love this Valentine’s Day
Channel your feminine energy into something productive—like a man!
List of “Flagged” Words Grows to Include “Emilia Perez” and “Empathy” Among Others
In a report reviewed by The Rib, the infamous list appears to be growing with the terms “Green”, “Peer-Reviewed”, and “Twink” joining the ranks.
Brown Investment Group (BIG) Definitely Not Compensating for Anything
The Brown Investment Group, BIG, released a statement earlier this week to let everyone know that they’re definitely not compensating for anything. “I’m in BIG...
There Are Still Four More Days of Hanukkah. Mom, Dad, it’s Not Too Late to Get Me an Authentic 19th-Century Penny Farthing Bicycle.
As long as I can remember, I have only wanted to possess a single thing: an authentic 19th century penny farthing bicycle. As a child,...
10 Things To Do In Your Boring Ass Town Over Winter Break That Aren’t Spiraling in Your Childhood Bedroom or Getting Mad At Your Mom For No Reason
All activities were tested by yours truly and are guaranteed super fun! I'm still gonna spiral in my childhood bedroom and get mad at my...
Things That Are Only Okay When I Do Them
I'm just special!