So You Really Want My Advice?
I can only give you advice on the following questions: Should I do laundry or just wear my bathing suit bottoms as underwear? Should I...
Colorblind Blues
As the leaves start to change to a beautiful mélange of reds, browns, and greens, my feelings of autumnal awe are dampened greatly. Those quirky...
The Millennial Predicament
I resent being a millennial. I know that I can’t be held responsible for when I was born, but I can sense the disapproving gaze...
Magic Tree House: The Next Generation
Let’s start off with a little personal anecdote: the first chapter book I ever read was a Magic Tree House book, so they hold a special...
The Woes of Being a Spoiled Only Child
No one wants to listen to an only child talk about his or her problems. It’s a fact. Everyone has this idea that only children have the...
A Comprehensive Analysis of Carrel Writings at the Rock
Whenever I’m studying at a carrel in the Rock, I make sure to read everything people have written on it. I choose a different carrel every time,...
Justin Bieber Celebrates the Golden 50th Album: “Is That the Light?”
by Emily Adams Rolling Stone interview with Justin Bieber, April 2068 As Justin Bieber nears his 74th birthday, he is still the beloved teen heart-throb he was...
Confessions of a Compulsive Polaroid Addict
A little under a year ago, inspired by a myriad of aesthetically-pleasing Urban Outfitters ads and Tumblr posts, I asked for a Polaroid camera. My...
On Trashy Guilty Pleasures
The first thing anyone should know about me is that I’m a piece of shit. No, really. You don’t have to feel bad about it....
Rib Roundup: Halloween Costume Edition
by Ali Macleod Note: A previous version of this article neglected to include Annie Warner’s fucking kickass costumes. She gets to go first now, because...