How to Be Gwyneth Paltrow: College Student Edition
by Nicole Martinez Are you a rich, famous, pretentious, attractive individual? Of course you’re not! You’re a bloated college student whose diet consists of Jo’s mozzy sticks,...
I Watched Like Every Leonardo DiCaprio Movie Over Spring Break and This Is What I Learned
Ah, my first ever college spring break. I couldn’t wait to get drunk and party! Quick note: “drunk” for me means drinking Martinelli’s Sparkling...
Milla Bizzotto, Making Millennials Everywhere Feel Terrible About Themselves
Milla Star Bizzotto is a superhuman child who, at 9 years old, is fitter than I have ever been in my 20 years of life...
Get Off Our iPhones, Government!
If you’ve been following the FBI v. Apple case, you know that one of the U.S. government’s most newsworthy battles of the day is the same one...
“Damn, Daniel” Deconstruction
Elvis had his pelvis, Salvador Dalí had his mustache, and Moses had his burning bush. These icons changed history forever, but let me ask you...
Extra! Extra! Facebook About it!
Have you ever logged onto Facebook and noticed the trending topics on the side? Have you wondered where these random headlines even came from? Have...
The Pablos of Life
So, Kanye’s album finally dropped, and in a very non-Kanye fashion, the album seems to be about not Yeezus himself, but some guy named Pablo....
The Moral Dilemma of Pirating
I had always considered myself an ethical and morally upstanding human being until a particular Broadway musical was released last year. If you’re like me...
Chris Christie’s Greatest Hits
Let’s take a political poll of sorts. Please raise your hand if you’re a fan of Chris Christie. Okay. Now put your hand down if...
Sorel Boots are the New Uggs… And I’m Okay with That
Seventh grade is only painful in retrospect. I had shockingly high self-esteem for someone sporting clashing red and green braces. But now that I’m older,...