Why I Suck at Black Friday
When the last bite of mashed potatoes is gone and those joyful carols take over the radio, everyone filled with the holiday spirit starts to...
Let’s Go Streaking!
I’m undoubtedly just as much of a millennial as most people on Brown’s campus. I refer to being responsible as “adulting,” I take frequent selfies, and...
Baby Mama
This is an actual excerpt transcribed verbatim from my 4th grade diary, dated January 13, 2004: My babysitter Andren is having a baby. It...
Socks, Guitar, Moon
My roommate does CLPS studies for her Cognitive Science class. I like to imagine a cohort of scientists taping wires to her head in a...
Porn @ Brown
Why beat around the bush? Pornhub isn’t working on Brown’s wifi. At first, I thought this was a “me” thing. I thought some issue with...
Facebook Categories That Need to Exist
I recently learned that Facebook has groups that you can put your friends in without them knowing. I have the wonderfully thrilling options of sorting...
How to Come Back from Heartbreak (And The Presidential Election)
The week that Donald Trump was elected president of the United States was a tough one. I had two papers to write, one presentation to...
Secret Santa Gift Guide
I don’t know about you, but I had a terrific summer. One of my favorite parts of this summer is that it wasn’t winter. Fuck...
Meeting the Plants
Somehow I’m now someone who owns plants. Not just a plant, but plural plants. Two to be exact. I started out with such meager goals:...
Elements of Style
I would have never worn clogs in high school. I would have never worn turtlenecks or long dresses either because those were all things old...