I have been unfortunate enough to take two (2!) 8:30am classes in my two semesters at Brown. While some may think I’m some kind of sadist, I assure you that this scheduling was not by choice: this dreaded time slot was the only one available. In my vast experience with the elusive, menacing 8:30, I have learned to recognize some of the many types of people you will see in this class and how to identify them accordingly.
*Disclaimer* I’m not judging anyone for their behavior at that hour in the morning; I have personified every type I will describe below.
The Athlete
The athlete will probably show up in sweats, talking about the lift or practice they just completed after waking up at 5:30am. There is a 50% chance that they have showered. May the odds be ever in your favor.
The 9am-er
This student treats the 8:30 like a 9am and walks into class every day half an hour late (usually with Starbucks or Blue State). They tend to slide into a seat in the back in an attempt to avoid eye contact with the professor, but the bold ones will walk right to the front.
The Absent One
“hey can you send me your notes again lol”
“this class is lecture captured right?”
“I overslept again haha”
The Early One
Not only do these students show up to every lecture, they’re always at least 10 minutes early. They’re wearing a nice outfit (a non-wrinkled collared shirt or a pair of jeans that did NOT come out of the dirty laundry hamper) usually have a pen you can borrow, and have already read The New York Times morning briefing.
The Technology Users
These students are the most baffling. Without fail, they show up on time with relatively few yawns, but will scroll through Dear Blueno, look for summer internships, and browse CAB offerings (all classes later than noon). Sometimes, they will be taking a few notes in an unlabeled google doc (but somehow it’s a different document for each lecture).
The Sleeper
zzz…zzz…
The Netflixer
These students will watch the latest episode of The Good Place or (if they happen to share someone’s HBO account) catch up on Game of Thrones. It’s usually with closed captions and no volume, but I’ve seen (and heard) episodes in the balcony of Salomon. Tsk tsk… the sun is watching…
If you ever have the misfortune to take an 8:30, look around for these people. For motivation to show up, I recommend making a bingo card or Pokemon cards for each type.
Gotta catch ‘em all!
Image via