In a new statement, the Brown University Provost decreed that pitching a tent on the Main Green to celebrate 4/20 is “dope” and “totally chill”, but doing so to protest an ongoing genocide is against university policy and all participants will be punished to the fullest extent of the law.
“Man, I love it when the kids get all excited for 4/20 and set up their tents on the green!” the Provost giggled, puffing on a joint. “But when they take on a cause and camp out to protest against genocide,” he continued, eyes darkening, “that’s a big no-no.”
When pressed about this policy, the Provost shrugged. “Students are allowed to protest. In fact, we love it and emphasise it in all our promotional materials. They just can’t do it in a way that disrupts anything or ruins our lush, green grass. Mmm. Grass.”