‘Pre-gaming’. What knows what that’s supposed to mean? Answer: my Great-Aunt Barb. This connoisseur of all things young and current sent me a tell-all email last weekend, warning me off the dangers of “drinking enough to get high” (Barb, Re: Chat, 2018). Though, at first, it seemed to the both of us like a passing fad, alas, it turns out that just like Barb’s inability to properly season her food, this is one problem that’s here to stay.
‘Pre-gaming’, she let me know, is a new American College craze that happens in dorms before going out to parties, sports events, concerts, what have you. But, you guys. Here’s. The. Catch. Barb let slip that these students, these pre-gamers, are under twenty one. That means that by law they are not legal to drink nor to buy alcohol!
Now, I know what you’re thinking. There’s no way. There’s no way that all these keeney-eyed and bushy-tailed freshmen are breaking the mother-freaking law and drinking danger juice before going to sports events when everyone literally told them not to. Like, nicely. But Barb, with a hyper-vigilance honed by years spent playing bridge and bocce, gave it to me straight- in an email. These reckless law-breakers are for realsies. They drink and drink and drink and “tend to pass out, especially when the weather is warm and the students are thirsty”, an important thing to consider as we approach the steamy winter season. And as if you needed any more piercing insight into this issue, Barb offers a personal anecdote on how ‘pre-gaming’ has touched and devastated her life.
“It happened to Ryan.”
You guys, it happened to Ryan.
So, to all you sensible, law-abiding students- now, you have been knew. You (me) have been gifted with a factual, in-touch account of this new phenomenon. And if you see any of these ‘pre-gamers’ lurking about the dorms, drinking to get high, not hydrating, breaking the law (!!!!!!), give them a knowing smile, and think of your good friend, and my Great-Aunt, Barb. Then report them to the authorities.