Are You Hungover or Just a Transfer?
A few nights ago, I was sitting on my roommate’s bed. As we frantically made last minute changes to our schedules, I suddenly had an...
Finding Religion in Times of Famine
As I’m writing this, it’s Rosh Hashanah (ראש השנה for the cool kidz), a.k.a the Jewish new year. Holiday texts have been pouring in all...
Italy’s Public Enemy Number One
An exclusive investigation into one American student’s life on how she went from naïve study abroad student to the most wanted person in all of...
My Application for “Married at First Sight”
Married at First Sight is a reality show masquerading as a “””social experiment””” to conceal the undeniable fact that is crazy, nutso, and overall, bonkers. A...
Confessions of a Keeney RPL
Note: The author has since become a senior and a non-RPL and she says HAHA WADDUP BISHES! I’ve lived in Keeney twice. Once during my...
By Chloe Conspiracies
Patrons of Thayer Street: Have you found yourself wondering why the new inhabitant of 223 Thayer has taken an incomprehensibly long time to open? Don’t...
The Everygirl’s Guide to Tinder
Well here I am, single again. No it’s cool, I’m okay, unfurrow your brows. Fortunately for all of us, I’m slowly but surely moving out...
Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends but with More Late Stage Capitalism
Her name was Alexis. She was everything I wasn’t at the time: a teen, a sophisticate, a brunette with a Parisian fashion sense, a person...
Hot New Anxiety Cure: 1940s Jazz
I want to be better. As in, I want to be a better person, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone. It’s just that sometimes...
Love for Fledgling and Mature Humans
Wandering the nooks and crannies of any college campus produces sights that are essentially the same: most places have some sort of hallowed building (i.e....