Girl with Bangles Gives World’s Worst Handjob
Dating back to 2600 BCE Mesopotamia, bangles have been the ultimate feminine accessory: symbols of luck, beauty, and undeniable sexual energy. Their timelessness and versatility...
Heartbreaking: Man in Dry Spell Really Looking Forward To Naked Donut Run Misses It
He got on Sidechat to complain right away too, fucking freak.
The Newest Water Bottle Fad Is Here and It’s an Ancient Wineskin Made From Weathered Goat Hide
Move over, Owala. So long, Stanley Cup. Ta ta, Hydroflask. There’s a new hydration vessel in town, and it’s pungent, aesthetic, and adds protein as...
Nepo Baby Actually Prefers Person-First “Baby Experiencing Nepotism”
In a touching Instagram story earlier this morning, 22-year-old nepo baby Charlotte Kennedy Rockefeller-Boeing fiercely pushed back against the use of the term “nepo baby”...
Friend Who Eats Jo’s Salad Would Also Eat Compost If Given The Chance
Yeah…I’ll get spinach, cantaloupe, feta, grapes, and uhh…yeah you can put an egg on it, ranch dressing is fine
Morgan and Her Friend Linus Seeking 2 Other Current Juniors to Join Their Housing Group for Next Year (This is Not a Joke)
Just to be upfront, they want a suite but lowkey don't want to live in Danoff or Chen because Morgan doesn't get cell service there....
Girl Wearing Cowboy Boots Doesn’t Even Remember the Alamo
Not even that bolo tie and copious amounts of denim can hide who she really is: a coastal elite.
Here are the Top Ten Times to Performatively Nod Your Head in Class
I am someone who desperately needs people to know how smart I am feels that it is sometimes nice to be recognized by my peers...
Bummer! Lesbian Couple You Were Rooting For From Behind Actually Just Guy With Beautiful Long Hair and His Girlfriend
In a devastating blow to queer joy, the lesbian couple you were walking behind on Wickenden Street turned out to be a straight couple with...
