A Letter To My Future Children
by CJ Risman Looking at some of my younger cousins and their technology usage in recent weeks has given me preemptive anxiety about my future children,...
These Sites are Superfun(d): A Tourist’s Guide to America’s Most Toxic Destinations
by Cary Chapman Are you sick and tired of your beach vacation being so freakin’ pristine? Do travel slogans like “a glimpse of paradise” and...
Welcome to the Brown Introverts Club
My freshman year at Brown is coming to a close, and I’m surprisingly fine with it. The fact that I won’t be able to use my...
Meeting Celebrities: Expectations vs. Reality
If you’re like me in that you suffer crippling bouts of social ineptitude whenever you meet someone you worship greatly admire, here are a couple...
Dining Hall Doom
It’s such an amazing feeling when you find lyrics that speak to your goddamn soul. When Joe Strummer of The Clash cooed, “I’m all...
How Invisible Are You?
I’d like to start off by saying that I am short. I’m 4’9 to be precise. I’m currently awaiting results from Ancestry.com to see whether...
Killing the Mood
There are a number of phrases you can say in the bedroom to kill the mood. Most of them probably involve your parents. However, there...
Waka Flocka Flame is Running for President
No, you didn’t read that wrong. The one, the only, the future savior of our nation, and the Spring Weekend ’15 breakout star Waka Flocka...
A Freshman’s Thoughts on Spring Weekend
The fact that there were only 20 out of 50 students in my Monday morning class proved that it was the day after Spring Weekend....
Now In Session: Support Group For Girls That Sucked At Youth Soccer
Thank you ladies so much for coming out today. It’s been some time since we quit our childhood soccer teams after taking two seasons to...