If, like myself, you have been finding every possible means of procrastinating your finals, then you probably saw at least some of the Met Gala looks from this year. Karl Lagerfeld’s problematic history aside, this theme is not particularly exciting to me personally nor do I completely understand it, yet I still have some strong opinions about this year’s outfits and will be providing my valuable insight into the world of high fashion. Do I have the qualifications for this? No. Will I still be giving my unsolicited opinions? Yes!
- Ben Platt
First of all, Ben Platt looks so depressed in this photo. Regardless of whether or not this is on theme, I still think he looks like either a sad matador, a 1940’s sailor, a marching band member, or a small child whose jacket from last Easter no longer fits. 2/10
2. Guitar Dresses?
This feels like some twisted version of the blue and black/white and gold dress debate but here there is NO debate. The black and blue dress is way better and I love her hair and the nice train. I absolutely detest the white one. I don’t have a good reason why. Overall I give this idea a 3/10.
3. Eileen Gu
She looks really good, but my main concern here is the fabric because it brings to mind an image I cannot stop thinking about. A few weeks ago I had Covid and consumed nothing but juice and grape popsicles for several days (content warning emetophobia) only to throw up violently all over my white bedding and this is EXACTLY what my sheets looked like. Sorry to put that image in your head. 4/10
4. TV Show References (in my opinion)
The Met Gala always poses a struggle for most men, but I would argue that both of these looks are successful not only because they look great but also because they remind me of Star Trek and Game of Thrones. 7/10
5. Irina Shayk
This is what my fitted sheet looks like after it comes out of the dryer and I immediately try to fold it by myself in my dorm laundry room while also trying to make sure it does not touch the floor. 4/10
6. Paris-core
Tell me these looks do not remind you of the 2013 Paris Aesthetic. 2/10
7. Margaret Qualley
This poor girl. I swear I wore this dress to a Bat Mitzvah in 2014. This whole image makes me so sad. She looks so sad. Who did this to her? 2.5/10
8. Cats!!!
THIS is high fashion!!!!! I love both of these and I think they understood the theme wholeheartedly. Perfect. 10/10
That’s all I’ve got. Next year give these people an easier theme! In the meantime, I’m gonna go rewatch Ocean’s 8 and the Heavenly Bodies red carpet from 2018.
Photos via