When I am at home, I religiously visit Costco at least once a week. To me, Costco is a safe haven (if I could trade my house for Costco, I would). But now that I am studying at Brown, I don’t have the time to go. In fact, according to Google Maps, Costco doesn’t even exist in Rhode Island. So, I have decided that the best way to reminisce about Costco is to write a blog post about it.
1) Bagel Bites: These tiny, frozen pizza bagels can also be found in convenience stores, but I only buy them at Costco because it is the only place that sells 72 of them in one box. One box!!! In comparison, Rite Aid and Ralphs only sell 9 Bagel Bites per box. What a rip off! One time, my sister and I sat down in front of the TV and ate 12 Bagel Bites each in the span of 30 minutes. The best thing about Bagel Bites is that they are so small that you don’t feel as guilty after eating them. The worst thing about Bagel Bites is that they are so small that you never feel full.
2) Key Lime Pie: I accidentally discovered the Key Lime Pie. I was walking around and trying samples when a woman named Caroline offered me a piece. A few minutes later, I came back for more, but this time, I made sure to grab a slice while Caroline was searching for her knife. The worst feeling in the world is when the employee catches you stealing another sample. I don’t know why I love this Key Lime Pie so much, but I do know that I returned for five more samples. By the seventh time, I think Caroline was becoming suspicious because she looked at me a little funny. When I backed away without actually buying the Key Lime Pie, her stare turned into a death glare. Now, every time I visit Costco, I pray for more Key Lime Pie samples, but for some reason, I haven’t seen it since that one incident.
3) Kirkland Pizza: When I was younger, I thought Costco was a pizza store that happened to sell other cool and useless items. Does that say anything about the quality of their pizza? Hmmm… Also, it is important to note that I usually opt for the combo option because that is the only way I eat vegetables. Sometimes, I like to take off the onions, mushrooms, and peppers for fun, but I don’t like to talk about that.
4) Dog Food: My dogs only eat food from Costco, so I assume Costco has really great dog food. And as I talk about dog food, I must let you know that I really love my dogs (3 fluffy brown poodles: Mocha, Brownie, and Jerry).
5) 8-foot Plush Bear: In seventh grade, I gave this gigantic teddy bear to my friend for Secret Santa. I don’t know if she liked the gift, but I liked watching her carry it all the way home. After that year, she never invited me back to her place. I wonder why. :/
6) Gasoline: This is my father’s favorite thing from Costco, so I decided to include it on the list. He claims that Costco has cheaper gas than other gas stations, so he always goes to Costco to fill his car. During winter break, our car ran out of gas because my dad insisted that we drive an extra 10 miles to get Costco gas even though Mobil was literally a minute away. Because of him, we were very close to stopping on the freeway and missing Bohemian Rhapsody.
As you can see, I love Costco. It has everything you need and everything you wish you needed. It is sometimes hard to describe it in words, but I would say it is basically the sexiest piece of eye candy in the warehouse superstore game. Thanks for tuning in, and I hope to see you soon at Costco, aka the most magical place in the world.