Humanitarian SHEro! Minimizing Human Suffering by Daydreaming About Eating at Local Restaurant Again

Yum yum! I cannot wait for the day I get to eat at Big Restaurant after so much time at Restaurant My House. I will be wearing stilettos and red lipstick, dress, and full underwear. What else will the day bring?

When I walk into Big Restaurant, Mr. Waiter will say, “My, are you wearing full underwear?” I will respond with a wink and a firm shake of the hand– his hand. Then, I will order two appetizers and Strawberry Daiquiri which I will suck up through a red straw. I will mark my finishing with a smack of my lips. My tummy will be filled, but I will order another appetizer! It will have been so long since I will have had an appetizer. 

Then, I will excuse myself to use the Ladies’. I will enter and for the first time in months, I will close the door behind me. Ladies in public must leave some things to mystery. Then, after Ladies’, I will return to the table and Mr. Waiter will pull out my chair and say, “I missed you” and I will toss my head back with a laugh and order another appetizer. Who will stop me, on my first day back at Big Restaurant? Not Mr. Waiter, not myself, not anyone. 

Yum yum! There is a chance I will have Napkin in my lap when I am finally in Big Restaurant. With three small dishes in my belly, I will scan Menu to see what I will have for Main Course. But, after much time alone, I will have discovered certain things about myself. So, I will listen to my body, look back to the beginning of the menu, and find the section labelled ‘Appetizers’. I will think, “What will one more do? Kill me? As if!” I will call Mr. Waiter over with a slight “Ahem” and a flip of my hair. He will come and I will point to Menu and say “This, please,” and he will nod and scurry away. I will toss my head back and reapply my lipstick. Maybe I will notice my empty water glass and think, “My, there are many worse and more serious things than eating at Big Restaurant, maybe I should have done more to think about how to minimize my role in perpetuating human suffering because, just as Dante says, the hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality… but boy oh boy I cannot wait to see Mr. Waiter coming around the corner ready to ask me if I would like another appetizer!”

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