If there’s any reason to abandon that blanket fortress you’ve created in your single… it’s taking a midnight stroll around campus. These days, you’ll find that quads are giving you less ‘drunk-at-Jo’s’ and serving more ‘red-light-district-in-Tokyo’. Indeed, every other window is illuminated with those tell-tale TikTok LED lights. You know, the E-Boy Pantone swatch? It is to the current underclassmen what tapestries were to the classes of the 2010s, and yes, I just bought 30 feet.
There is a science behind these ~immaculate~ vibes. Just like mood rings or astrology, the color of your LEDs can have a causal effect on your shitty personality. For instance,
Red: For those special moments in which you’re craving the depths of hell, a sex dungeon, or some combination of the two. There’s a scientific basis for keeping your lights red all the time (it’s the opposite of blue light?), but after reading this charming review from Refinery29, you might have to reconsider:
TikTok lights are turning pedestrian bedrooms into creative cocoons, with soft colored lighting for an almost womb-like comfort.
So, unless you’re actually trying to return to the womb, I’m afraid it’ll take more than a trendy design choice to fix that sort of baggage.
Purple/Pink: Bust this out when you find yourself fading in that Wednesday evening Zoom seminar. It is almost guaranteed to elicit an “Oh, what a fun lighting situation!” conversation with your Professor. It’s universally flattering. It will make you want to submit your homework in advance. It will make you want to “totally agree” with your crush’s Canvas discussion post.
Yellow: There are certain things that are a given these days: every day will be exactly the same, the citrus AHA is objectively the best, and every light fixture on Brown University’s Campus will be hospital-tubelight in color. But it doesn’t mean you can’t do something different! Switch your lighting to yellow! And get water instead of soda, you freak.
Flash: Use sparingly. It may remind you too strongly of clubs, or parties, or literally any social setting. If you decide to play Pursuit of Happiness by Kid Cudi, it’s your own damn fault. That said, I do it, like, once a week.
Maybe if we all combine forces and change our LEDs at the exact same time we could start a campus-wide sound and light show.
Man, I’m just trying to feel something.
Image via.