Confessions of a Barista
As Thanksgiving (and more importantly, the holiday season) swiftly approaches and the days grow shorter and colder, every Starbucks in the nation is beginning to...
AIWU (Acronyms I Would Use)
Did you know “acronym” is actually an acronym for “Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning?” Yeah. Meta. With this post, I originally set out...
What the Internet Thinks Women Want
Back in 1991 when they invented the Internet (whoever “they” is), they claimed it was going to change the world, provide us with knowledge at...
A Rant From The Guy Without A Culturally Relevant Halloween Costume
Speaking as someone whose self-worth is solely determined by my ability to impress others with a witty and timely Halloween costume, October 31, 2014 is...
Expensive Ice Cubes for your Overpriced Drink!
Earlier this week, I stumbled across an NPR article bearing the horrifying title “Can Hand-Cut, Artisanal Ice Make Your Cocktail That Much Better?” I had to...
Everyone Still Plays Neopets (They’re Lying Otherwise)
Remember last week when your friend reminisced on the nostalgic splendor of Neopets? “Oh man, I was on Neopets nonstop back in elementary school. Good...
Thanks for the non-compliment!
One of the most frequent compliments I receive is not actually a compliment at all. I get it in floods during my first few weeks...
Professor Fight Club: The New New Curriculum
Perched atop College Hill, we here at Brown University pride ourselves on our liberal approach to learning and academia. We don’t just offer the typical...
An Open Letter From The Neglected Apple
Dear Pumpkin-Praising Public, You betrayed me. I once sat on the throne of spiced autumnal confections, and now it seems I have been relegated to...
At Least My Quarter-Life Crisis is Pumpkin Spice-Flavored
I never thought it would be this hard. This transition from innocent youth to hardened adults, the growing distance from those I once called my...