Did you know “acronym” is actually an acronym for “Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning?” Yeah. Meta.
With this post, I originally set out to create revised versions of known acronyms, but after looking at a few lists, I realized my efforts would be better spent coming up with completely new ones. Some truly absurd sequences qualify as “commonly used acronyms,” such as: BTDTGTTAWIO (been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and wore it out). I hear that one every day!
Anyway, here are some acronyms I’d actually use:
- IRSNM: I’d rather stick needles in my eyes. I use this phrase almost every day when people ask me to do things I don’t want to do.
- MEAB: Me ears are bleeding. The only response to any over-sharing.
- OTPHJ: Over the pants hand job. You know who you are.
- LRBD: Lengthy rendition of a boring dream. We’ve all had that roommate.
- IRTSO: I read that somewhere once. For all those questionable facts you drop on your friends.
- FWMSO: Fucking with my socks on. Experts are now saying it’s better with your socks on. IRTSO.
- RPM: Repurposed prescription medications.
- LMHP: Low-maintenance house plants. I’m in the market for one of these.
- SOD?: Shirt or dress?
- SIS?: Should I shower?
- ITBTIL: It tastes better than it looks. Applicable to nearly everything I’ve ever cooked.
- IWIHA: I wish I hadn’t asked. “IWIHA what was in that dinner”; “ITBTIL and I should’ve quit while I was ahead.”
- POWMSO: Passed out with shoes on, or TDTU: Too drunk to undress.
- NWBAA: Not wearing a bra AT ALL, or: FB: Free boobin’.
- PBOE: Peanut butter on everything.
- QFC: Questionable food combination.
- MDTNB: More difficult than it needs to be.
- SRPM: Struggling to reach page minimum. As a senior in college, I find writing a paper has become MDTNB.
- PSE: Pumpkin spice exhaustion. [Ed. Note: No such thing.]
- POHC: Potentially offensive halloween costume. If you have to ask, it probably is.
- BHOC: Big hunk of cheese.
- WARV: Weird-ass root vegetables. Another day, another turnip.
- SLO: Suspiciously loud orgasm, and its counterpart, the SSO: Sneaky silent orgasm.
- ASF: Alternately sweating and freezing, or, why I hate spring.
- DBSW: Does a bear shit in the woods?
- EBIB: Eating because I’m bored.
- CTLP: Candy that tastes like plastic. Twizzlers, candy corn, I’m looking at you. But somehow I can’t stop EBIB.
- FSD: Four-shot drink. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
- PCL: Pros and cons list.
- DPM: Discrete poop mission.
- KUST?: Kitchen utensil or sex toy?
- DTF: Down to feast. This version of DTF is the only version.
Unlike fetch, I think I could actually make these happen.
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