Thank God You Go to Brown, Because This Essay Wouldn’t Fly Anywhere Else
Brown University has always been known as the ‘weird’ Ivy, but I didn’t know we were known as the school of “freaky-ahh” sexually repressed incels....
Student Takes Too Much Allergy Medicine, Reports Seeing CPax’s Dog Holding a Knife
He's here to inquire about your car's extended warranty.
SJP Reinstated on Campus
After a controversial suspension, SJP returns to Brown.
Anti-DEI Legislation Ends Gendered Spaces—So Now I’m Rushing Lantern
Recent anti-DEI legislation has mandated the end of single-gendered student groups, citing Title IX and the 2023 affirmative action case as the legal foundation. The...
Pickleballer More Like Pickleholla-back Girl
an exposé article?
The British Are Coming! Spectrum Britain to Open on Thayer Street
Watch out, Thayer Street! Spectrum Britain is the hottest new retail sensation specializing in British culture. If Spectrum India’s assortment of Tibetan singing bowls, Buddha...
Faunce First Floor Restroom To Become Exclusive Berlin Nightclub, Bear-Ghain.
Have you ever used the women’s restroom on the first floor of Faunce? If your answer is ‘yes,’ then you’ve no doubt navigated the mysterious...
Report: Brown Noser Refuses to Accept Hot Applicants, Claims it Undermines Club’s Core Values
In a recent interview with the Brown Noser that definitely is not fabricated, the publication stated they will not accept any hot applicants because it...
Rats Outraged at Lack of Rodent-Sized Amenities at The Ratty
The Rib’s intrepid dining hall reporters recently were served a piping-hot plate of tea, straight from the smallest and furriest residents of the Sharpe Refectory,...
Brown Investment Group (BIG) Definitely Not Compensating for Anything
The Brown Investment Group, BIG, released a statement earlier this week to let everyone know that they’re definitely not compensating for anything. “I’m in BIG...