5 People Who Are Allowed to Punch Me in the Face
“I want Beyoncé to punch me in the face,” my friend declared. I hesitated, waiting to see if she meant to say something else instead....
You Make Me Feel Like I’m Living A Teen Mom Dream
The first time I had a pregnancy dream, I was in eighth grade. It went down like this: I was sitting on the field outside...
Free the Bra
It’s dinnertime, and my family is casually sitting at the table when my dad interrupts the conversation for a breaking announcement. “I have a million-dollar...
Your Recently Used Emojis: A Window to the Soul
Whenever someone asks to use my phone, I usually have to do some emergency editing before forking over My Precious. This includes erasing incriminating texts,...
Stealing Stuff
Everyone steals stuff. Stealing has an unwarranted negative stigma these days, largely because people conflate “stealing” with “shoplifting.” In reality, forms of stealing that do...
What Does Your AIM Username Say About You?
Every time I log into Facebook, I shudder. I am thrown right back into my daunting past: the days of florescent pink Juicy Couture sweat...
A Recipe for the Perfect Millennial Woman
Here’s how you make her. It shouldn’t be too hard – the ingredients aren’t particularly hard to come by. 3/4 of a share in an eco-friendly...
A Bad Case of Ivyitis
The doctor strode into the room, a clipboard in his hand and a grim look on his face. “Tell it to me straight, Doctor. What–what...
Tampon Shaming is the New Black
Over the summer I was hustling to CVS on a mission for tampons. I proudly strutted to the “feminine care” aisle and chose the cutest,...
Interpreting Font Names
In every student’s life, there comes a time when she realizes Arial or Times New Roman just won’t cut it. This moment is a marker...