AIWU (Acronyms I Would Use)
Did you know “acronym” is actually an acronym for “Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning?” Yeah. Meta. With this post, I originally set out...
Things I Want This Thanksgiving
Each year at Thanksgiving, my family goes around the table and everyone offers a short list of things they are thankful for. It sounds...
The Haunting Dread of Food Truck Smell
It’s just after sunset, and you’re en route to an evening class. Everyone around you scuttles to their warm homes in dusk’s amber glow in...
I Went To Paris And All I Got Was A Bunch of Second-Hand Crack
It seems safe to assume that most people on this campus (both men and women) have at one point fantasized about going to Paris. Literature,...
Reincarnation aka Can I Be Reborn as Beyoncé?
Upon learning about reincarnation during a world religions class in high school, I imagined what hideous crimes I must have committed in my past life to...
Apology Letter to My Future Children
To my future offspring, Hello. It’s your mother. Right now, I’m a young, vibrant, spunky nineteen-year-old – or at least that’s what I write whenever...
The Curse of Self-Diagnosis
So I have this problem. And you probably have it too. It’s called casual self-diagnosis… Anxiety? Constantly needing to feel in control? Hypochondria? Perpetual sweating?...
What Cracking Your iPhone Screen Says About You
No, I did not mean “What Your Cracked iPhone Screen Says About You.” That would be an interesting piece, though, because an iPhone screen...
Dear Yoga Farter
Dear Yoga Farter, I wasn’t going to say anything the first time you let one slip during the evening vinyasa flow class. I wasn’t even...
Hey Asshole, Stop Whoring Out Puppies
by Allie Tsuchiya Calling all assholes! Looking for a great new advertising strategy to promote your business? Well, look no further: Random-Middle-Aged-Private-Driver who I met...