Sober at SW
I was sober at Spring Weekend this year. Shocking? Maybe. Apparently, not everyone at this prestigious institution is a perfect golden child like I am....
Putting the Pro in Procrastination
It’s a common affliction for the modern college student: procrastination, that self-sabotaging mind game of avoidance, excuses, and more often than not, falling into the infinite...
Coachella vs. Spring Weekend
Entrance Coachella – Parks car in parking lot and walks a mile to find the entrance. Prays that the machine will recognize the wristband. Spring...
Have We Met Before?
Last week I met someone for what felt like the seven-thousandth time. In reality, it was only the fourth or fifth time, which is still enough...
Pass(These Damn Exams)over
Well, it’s that time of year again. Your friendly neighborhood Jews are throwing out all their baked goods (protip: Passover is the best time of...
Snapchat is Ruining My Life
I am a typical millennial. I am obsessed with Instagraming artsy pictures of food. I spend more time on my phone during family gatherings than...
The Condemning Concentration
Earlier this week, I received an email that may or may not determine the rest of my path through life. “Congratulations, your concentration has been...
Confessions of a Zillow Addict
I like to think of myself as a financially rational human being. In the future, I envision living in an average-sized home, nothing too showy or...
Ask Me About My Recessive Jaw
Just when I thought all my dental problems were over, another issue arises. Despite the fact that I had braces six times, my teeth, like...
I Was Sexy (and Then I Finished Reading)
I discovered my sensuality in the Ratty. No, this is not a joke. On a chilly Saturday morning, I sat down to breakfast in the...