8 Domestic Things That Make Me Wish I Wasn’t a Human
Like most of us, I had to help around the house while I was growing up. These “chores” included walking the dog, taking out the...
The Tragic Failure of an 89.4%
Have you ever been virtually at victory? So close to success? Fractions from fame? Almost at an accomplishment? Close to conquest? Spending way too long...
Help, I Made So Many Puns That I Turned Into My Dad!
Now, I love puns as much as the next person, but too much of a good thing leads to dire consequences. Due to my upbringing,...
Freshman Fallacies
Freshman year is a whirlwind of adjustment, excitement, and a complete flooding by new things—Clubs! Classes! Sports! Unit wars! The Ratty! Gail! Your first Jose...
No, I’m Not Spiritually Dead Inside I’m Just Listening to Music
I ran into my friend Anna the other day while walking through the Main Green. I think she yelled “Hi,” and after taking a graceful...
Mailaholics Anonymous
Hi, my name is Christina, and I am a mailaholic. I love getting mail. I loved getting mail in high school, when colleges I’ve never...
Cacti Are Too Trendy
If you’re like me, your entire social media feed is populated by independent artists and craftspeople. No? That’s just a me thing? Good. Okay. Well...
An Etymological Study of “A Hoot and a Half”
“You’re a hoot and a half!” I exclaim after one of my peers delights me with a witticism or an amusing tale of woe. “Come...
My Top Three Strategic Power Cries
In one of the most dramatic and poignant moments in cinematic history, Helen Thermopolis tells her recently known-as-royalty daughter Mia “My mom always told me...
A Very MCM Analysis of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Episode 4.13: The Nightman Cometh
Lately, I’ve been watching the same episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia over and over simply because it brings me joy. Although I have viewed...