It’s a truth universally acknowledged that men’s deodorants have some of the most cringeworthy, outlandish scent names in existence. Scents like Wolfthorn, Power Rush, Phoenix, Ice Chill, Timber, and Bearglove line the shelves of aisle four in everyone’s local CVS, reminding guys everywhere that if they want to be real men, they better smell like it.
However, just the other day, while standing in my local drug store browsing different nail polishes I might like to buy for college, I realized that the clever combination of two of my favorite things — capitalism and gender norms — did not just apply to deodorant. As I turned over the glass bottle of a deep purple color of OPI brand nail polish that a reasonable person might have named “plum,” the words staring back at me felt like a slap in the face: Boys Be Thistle-ing At Me.
Right there, in aisle 3, I had an epiphany: nail polish names are the men’s deodorant of women’s products.
So, without further ado, I present to you the 10 most ridiculously named nail polishes on the market — ranging from light and harmless to genuinely offensive to just plain confusing — in no particular order.
- Crawfishin’ For a Compliment
2. Lost My Bikini in Molokini
3. I’m Not Really a Waitress
4. I Only Eat Salads
5. Hotter Than You Pink
6. Lost Without My GPS
7. What’s a Tire Jack
8. Iris I Was Thinner
9. Daddy’s Credit Card
10. Trophy Wife
So there you have it. Proof that nail polish is the men’s deodorant of women’s products.
title image via
Brilliant!