It's a Girl Thing, On "The Hill"

Man! I Feel Like a Woman

October 19, 2017

When it comes to my peers, I am always the one playing catch up. They’re more… how do I put this…  developed. They own more than two bras and maybe have a cheese grater in their kitchen drawers. I wear the same bra every day and still live in a dorm room. There’s no competition. I just watch them from the sidelines, occasionally asking annoying questions about what womanhood is like, to which they reply: “One day, you’ll understand.”

It’s not like I haven’t been desperate to develop. I’ve always wanted to leave my girl-status behind and go all Shania Twain singing Man! I Feel Like a Woman. But the fact of the matter is that, for a long time, maturity hadn’t quite hit me. As much as I craved to learn the secret to being a badass lady-chick, I was just a late bloomer. I was trapped in the realm of the training bra. Pity me.

When I would admit my late blossoming to people, they would often gasp, saying things like, “Wow…I mean… getting ‘it’ at 20 years old is like really late, right?” I would nod my head and mumble “Uh huh,” as if I didn’t already know how stunted I was, as a woman. Even my mom was perplexed.

Then one day, it happened.

I was walking down Angell Street and I just knew, like a sixth sense: I told myself, this is your time—you’re a fucking woman now goddamn it. I exhaled sharply, turned left, and stared onwards into my future.

Yes, I am proud to announce that on September 27th the world of womanhood slapped me in the face and I got it: the drive to get an internship.

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Life & Other Drugs

Confronting My Morality in A Coffee Shop Bathroom

October 18, 2017

I’ve never been as aware of the forces of good and evil within me as when I was sitting on the toilet of a coffee shop bathroom, looking into an eye-level mirror. The first question that entered my mind was what kind of person thought a mirror face-level with the pooping public was a good idea? My second question–as I looked into my own very vacant eyes– was who am I? And, even more importantly, am I a good person? Continue Reading…

Life & Other Drugs, On "The Hill"

Freshman Fallacies

October 18, 2017

Freshman year is a whirlwind of adjustment, excitement, and a complete flooding by new things—Clubs! Classes! Sports! Unit wars! The Ratty! Gail! Your first Jose card swipe! The souped-up Ben & Jerry’s machine! Spicy-withs! Your first gender-neutral shower experience! Pretending every weekend that this is the weekend you’re going to Boston! Being convinced you’re going to double concentrate!—Etc., etc. You’re consistently so overwhelmed that you don’t even have time to think, let alone to be  sad. Upon your first day on campus sophomore year, however, everything changes. A dark, depressing, haunting spirit swarms through the sophomore dorms, infiltrating the minds and souls of all sophomores: The Sophomore Slump. Continue Reading…

It's a Girl Thing, Life & Other Drugs, On "The Hill"

No, I’m Not Spiritually Dead Inside I’m Just Listening to Music

October 16, 2017

I ran into my friend Anna the other day while walking through the Main Green. I think she yelled “Hi,” and after taking a graceful moment to recognize her, I responded with what calls “the tight lipped smile with low intensity.”

Apparently, the tight lipped smile with low intensity is a very dishonest smile and masks the distaste an individual has for the recipient–a rather unfortunate description because this is the smile I give to literally everyone. Continue Reading…

It's a Girl Thing, Life & Other Drugs, On "The Hill"

Mailaholics Anonymous

October 16, 2017

Hi, my name is Christina, and I am a mailaholic.

I love getting mail. I loved getting mail in high school, when colleges I’ve never heard of sent me gilded letters declaring that I was very special indeed, and that they wanted my money me. I still love getting mail, but since coming to Brown I have discovered something more exhilarating and sinfully more expensive: packages.

Walking through the Main Green, I often pass students sauntering from the mail room, hauling several packages at a time. Who do they think they are? I can get packages too. I too am a proud consumer of this godforsaken capitalist country. Continue Reading…

Life & Other Drugs

Cacti Are Too Trendy

October 15, 2017

If you’re like me, your entire social media feed is populated by independent artists and craftspeople. No? That’s just a me thing? Good. Okay.

Well one trend I’ve been keeping a keen eye on in the hipster art circles is art ft. cacti and succulents. Cacti are very trendy right now. Let’s look at some examples:

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On "The Hill", Satire

Are You Really Vegan or Do You Just Own a Pair of Birkenstocks?

October 14, 2017

At Brown, there’s a nagging pressure to have a unique style and general vibe; unfortunately, we’re not all as “different” as we may choose to believe. Before leaping into my first year at Brown, I purchased the obligatory “I enjoy quinoa” accessory: The Birkenstock. But upon arriving on campus, I was hit with the harsh reality that every third person was wearing the exact same shoe as I was: the identity crisis ensued. If I wasn’t “the cool, hippie, vegan girl,” then who was I? Not only were there people who were more socially and politically conscious than I was– they dressed like it too! I primed myself for a college experience where my personal style, academic achievement, and all aspects of my life would be consistently validated. I was shaken to my core when I happened upon the realization that I’d have to work to make myself seen. 

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