Yo. This one’s pretty simple. Basically it’s a list of things that I hate. And when I hate things, I really love saying: “haha, thanks, I hate it.” Hence the article title. Like, picture all of these things happening or being placed right in front of my eyes and then picture me laughing in a pained way and then saying, “thanks, I hate it.” Okay. That’s it.
- under appreciating T-Pain
- knee caps as a concept
- the fact that baby carrots are just shaved down big carrots
- being touched unsolicitedly
- people entering my friends’ and my photo even though we explicitly excluded them in the first place
- that a “women’s” shirt is tight and has a v-neck??? like no I just want a normal ass t-shirt pls
- entering a really public space full of people when I’m alone and they all turn to look at me and I suddenly don’t know what to do with my hands
- on the topic of hands: figuring out where to put them in photos
- the aesthetic of the suburbs
- white people
- specifically, white women who say “chicas”
- but, again, just white people in general
- the fact that people paid J.K. Rowling actual human money to write that shit script for Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
- ppl who hurt my feelings….. hahahahahahahahaha…. aNYWAY
- squash, but I think that might be a me thing
- that acne isn’t a thing that actually stops with age
- people who are only like two years older than me treating me like I’m a baby
- wet scrambled eggs
- THAT THE UNIVERSE IS INFINITELY EXPANDING AND ENDLESS AND BLACK HOLES ARE A THING HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THOSE HOLY FUCKING SHIT OUR SUN IS GOING TO EXPLODE AND WE ALL JUST LIVE ON A CHUNK OF ROCK LITERALLY HURLING THROUGH SPACE AT MILLIONS OF MILES PER HOUR AND WHAT HAPPENS AFTER DEATH I DON’T KNOW AND THAT IS SO SCARY AND BIG AND I AM SO SMALL AND WEAK
- Brad from Bio
Thank you and goodnight.
Image via Sarah Clapp.