Whale Information I Now Have (And You Can Too)

I often look around and realize how little I know about the world. I take advantage of things simply because I see them every day. Or, maybe because I don’t see them at all. For example: whales. I’ve never seen a whale in real life! What! In trying to give my twenty-year-old eyes a little more perspective, I’m going to do some research on whales. The products of that research are below, for you to educate yourself on this important topic.

General Whale Facts

• Whales are mammals, so they breathe air.
  • This then means that whales can go to outer space
    
• Whales can eat as much as two tons of krill a day
  • Say what!? That’s a ton of food! Ha ha ha! Actually, it’s two. Two tons.
• Some whales can swim over 30 miles per hour.
  • They have to watch out for underwater speed limits though. It’s really hard to get a speeding ticket off your record.
• Sometimes a whale swims to the surface and quickly blows air out of their blowhole
  • Also known as a whale fart
    
• Some whales live to be over 100 years old.
  • Sugar whale daddy?

Q&A

• How much do whales pee?
  • “The enormous, 160,000-pound fin whale makes about 257 gallons of urine per day.” – Study in Canadian Journal of Zoology
• What makes a whale a whale and not something else like a dolphin or a shark or a grain of sand?
  • Whale is big
  • Dolphin more small and friendly and also smiles
  • Shark is sometimes more big and sometimes more small but has sharp teeth and is always hangry
  • Sand even more small and has a lot of sand friends
    • Related: sand outnumbers humans; will sand takeover the world?
• If I meet a whale, should I wave? Is waving rude in whale culture?
  • Depends on the whale
  • This one would wave back:
    
  • This one would not wave back:
    

Famous Whales

Pearl from SpongeBob

Pearl is a miracle of science. How did a crab father a whale? Unless he’s not the dad. It seems that parental confusion is a theme in Spongebob. For example, the starfish Janet and Marty who spent an entire day with Patrick before realizing they don’t have a son.

Tilikum

We all saw Blackfish. Too soon?

 

Destiny from Finding Dory

What a woman. Inspires me to be compassionate and courageous. Makes me feel more comfortable about my poor vision.

 

Moby Dick

lol DICKS

Conclusions

I sure learned a lot about whales today. From urine to speed limits, I feel that my worldview has expanded. I hope you no longer feel over-whalemed by a lack of whale knowledge.

Images via, via, via, via, via, via, via, and via.