Like most people in the United States of ‘Murica, I grew up with a vastly skewed (cough, cough, Euro-centric and imperialistic) view of history. So, like many people in this country, I have celebrated the holiday of Thanksgiving. It’s basically an excuse holiday that I’m pretty sure no one but my mom and Bob Belcher on Bob’s Burgers actually likes. But, I digress.
Now, growing up in huge Hispanic family in Miami (shoutout to the 3 0 5), my family has been known to make a few changes to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner, particularly adding some much needed flavor. I mean, y’all whites colonize our lands and take our spices? For what? Not seasoning my poultry? It’s disgraceful. We also include things like black beans because if my sister and I don’t have black beans–sorry, frijoles–at least three times a day, my grandma loses her shit. Still, growing up, I was still pretty aware about the normal Thanksgiving dinner. I watched television, I saw what was on the table.
Then, approximately three weeks ago, I was talking to my Friendsgiving dinner companion…
Her: So for dinner, I’m thinking of making mac and cheese.
Me: Haha, yeah, ’cause we’re college students and all we eat is pasta. Classic.
Her: …No, that’s what people do for Thanksgiving.
Me: …WHAT?!?!?!?
REWIIIIND. Mac and cheese is a Thanksgiving side dish? Since when?!?!? This situation is made five times worse when you realize my friend is BRITISH and she APPARENTLY knows more about American traditions than I do.
I can’t believe America has hid this secret from me for years. I pay taxes!!! Or I did when I had a job and wasn’t completely overwhelmed by my mess of a life. I deserve to have known about this!
I reached out to my friends, Rib gals, peers, and old classmates who had the honor of seeing me during my scene phase. I put up a very scientific and official poll on Facebook.
As someone who has won the first place of multiple elementary school science fairs, I feel pretty confident about the accuracy of this poll.
The results:
As we can see, nobody put “nah” because duh, everyone loves mac and cheese. That’s irrelevant. But, although the majority of answers were “yah” and “maybe” there were FIVE, I repeat, FIVE WHOLE PEOPLE who were “wtfffff????” about the concept. These are my brethren. It is unsettling to know that this was a secret the majority of America and my one British friend kept from me. I believe I should take it upon myself to uncover what other secrets America has been hiding from me. For instance, I have heard talk of something called “sliced bread” in which one can purchase a loaf where it comes already sliced. This is, of course, ridiculous, but I’ll look into it.
Image via and Nicole Martinez.
Hmm, you never know, maybe they put “wtf????????” because they thought that you were crazy for even asking a question such as this. To us, not eating macaroni and cheese for thanksgiving is unimaginable. I would never go to anyones house for thanksgiving if they didn’t have it. Hmmm, its liiiike….not haveing a cell phone at the age of twenty and not knowing what one is. Pretty horrible, right? Yup.