Are You There Empire State Building? It’s Me, Abby
Like Margaret did to God, I asked the Empire State Building a lot of questions this summer. Unlike Margaret, these questions didn’t revolve around puberty....
Rain, Rain, Get The Fuck Outta Here
Rain and I have a love-hate relationship, and by that I mean that I hate it and it clearly loves me so much it wants...
Why I’m In Favor of Global Warming
This past Tuesday, it was 57 degrees Fahrenheit outside. The next morning, it snowed as I was walking to class. While these erratic weather changes...
Help, It’s December And I Can’t Stop Talking About My Summer
I don’t know about you, but I had a pretty good summer. So good, in fact, that the semester’s about to end, and I’m still...
Hi, Nice To Meet Me
IDK bout u, but I had a really good summer. It was mostly good because I spent an unusually small percentage of it hating myself,...
The Olympics High
I’m not the sort of person to wake up at the crack of dawn to go on a five mile run. Or to wake up...
Binge-Watching For Dummies
There’s nothing I find more comforting than the burn of my laptop on my thighs after it’s been playing thirty straight episodes of Bob’s Burgers. The...
My Five-Year Workiversary
I’ve been working at the same job for five years. This statement feels weird to write down, because college students—twenty-year-olds—don’t work the same job for...
Goodbye Dreams (Like Goodnight Moon But Weaker Rhymes)
In the summer of my dreams There was an internship And some improv scenes And really cool people I ran into on the street (hi,...
Every “Back to School” Video on YouTube
If you had the self-restraint over the summer to refrain from entering the enticing place that is YouTube, you may have missed out on three months’ worth...