A Proposal to Tom Holland
Dear Tom Holland, You don’t know me, but I know you, or at least the “you” you present to the public. Back when I was...
Feeling Too Safe on Campus? Call a Dangerwalk!
With the end of timely warnings following DPS’ exciting arrest of the Orbee Gun Fiend (which I sincerely hope culminated in a high-speed car chase...
Girl Talk: I Just Found Out That My Roommate Is Closely Related To Ex-Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev. Advice?
First of all, I would like to assure you that this is not an uncommon experience. I'm sure many other readers have discovered that their...
Girl Who Sold Clothes on Main Green Once Now Considering Economics Major
She just understands business.
Leaked! Arthi’s Application to Host The Daily Show
There's an opening for hosting gig on The Daily Show-- hiring Arthi will ensure the legacy of hot genius hosts continues. And you can be...
An Ode to the Keeney Bathroom
I’m a Keeney apologist.
Just Brown Things: Random Stuff I’ve Found at Brown
It's not often you find a pair of pants on the street.
So You Didn’t Find Your CCBoo, What Now?
If DataMatch isn’t messy enough, our 2023/24 Class Coordinating Board swooped in to give you lonely idiots another shot at love. The CCBoo Spooky Scramble...
“Why Do I Feel So Shitty?” Asks Hungover, Sleep-Deprived, Malnourished Freshman
Even a #girlboss can't slay every day.
BREAKING: The Scariest Thing This Halloween Is How Little You’ve Accomplished This Semester!
Just when you think you have time to turn things around, Halloween coming up signifies the half way point of the semester! And you've accomplished...