Girl with Bangles Gives World’s Worst Handjob
Dating back to 2600 BCE Mesopotamia, bangles have been the ultimate feminine accessory: symbols of luck, beauty, and undeniable sexual energy. Their timelessness and versatility...
Morgan and Her Friend Linus Seeking 2 Other Current Juniors to Join Their Housing Group for Next Year (This is Not a Joke)
Just to be upfront, they want a suite but lowkey don't want to live in Danoff or Chen because Morgan doesn't get cell service there....
Caveman has World’s First Awkward Conversation, Invents Gun
The evolution of humankind has many hallmarks, from our humble beginnings as monkeys to our scientific discoveries as rational thinkers. Yet we must not overlook...
Right Time to Be Right? What to do When Your Friend Misgenders a Transgender Serial Killer
Not all hills are worth dying on, but the one with 29 dead bodies buried beneath it sure is. That's true allyship!
Shaving Their Initials Into Your Pubes and Other Ways You Can Manifest Love this Valentine’s Day
Channel your feminine energy into something productive—like a man!
What To Do If You’re Not Sure If You Saw a Football Team Fight Club Happening on the BioMed Terrace or If You Just Had a Weird Dream
I am Jack’s Enflamed Sense of Fear
Help! I Think My Roommate Is a Mermaid from the H2O: Just Add Water Universe!
By the way they avoid washing dishes, there's naur denying it.
Is That Girl In My Seminar Middle-Class Or Did She Buy Those 2008 Air Jordans For $300 On Depop?
Some questions for the nosy and misguided, in case you, too, want to feel like a reporter for a shittier version of Us Weekly.
Yes, You Should Feel Bad About Eating at the VDub Alone (Everyone’s Looking at You and Thinks You’re Really Weird)
This isn't an intervention, per say. We are gathered here today because we love you and we care about you. It just seems like it...