Whether you love to hate them or hate to love them, romantics are a pillar of pop culture. They are also a compilation of romantic expectations that cannot be translated to real-life, no matter how hard we try. Most of them are formulaic, predictable, and problematic. And I (we, don’t lie) EAT THEM UP.
Finding out Colin Firth wasn’t real was the end of my girlhood.
I eat them up in part because I’m actually one of the privileged (?) who sees some reflection of their reality in romantic comedies. I sometimes feel I am the unsuccessful lead of my own romantic comedy. And not just any lead, mind you. I’m the klutzy, endearingly silly protagonist of my life. And I know I’m not alone.
Each affirmative answer is a point. If it has been in front of an attractive person of the preferred gender/s, it’s two points.
Have you ever:
1. Been almost hit by a car?
2. Been almost hit by a car more than once?
3. Spilled drinks on yourself so often you can’t trust yourself to wear white clothing?
4. Sworn somewhere it was highly inappropriate?
5. Knocked a display over?
6. Knocked a display over more than once?
7. Had one of your heels break off?
8. Fallen while wearings heels?
9. Fallen off a chair?
10. Fallen off a chair more than once?
11. Fallen down stairs?
12. Fallen down stairs more than once?
13. Unknowingly underdressed or overdressed for an event?
14. Hurt yourself or gotten hurt during a casual sports event? (ex. ball to the face)
15. Needed medical attention for the stupidest reason?
Results
0-8: Congrats! You’re a balanced, regular person that moves through the world without embarrassing themselves constantly.
9-15: You’re just a regular klutz with a pretty intact dignity.
16-23: Getting a little cinematic with your klutziness, but you might still just be super clumsy and unlucky.
24-30: Yikes. Are you even a real person?
Images via, via, via Sarah Clapp. Photoshop by Gabriela Ramos Tavárez.
