The British Are Coming! Spectrum Britain to Open on Thayer Street
Watch out, Thayer Street! Spectrum Britain is the hottest new retail sensation specializing in British culture. If Spectrum India’s assortment of Tibetan singing bowls, Buddha...
Faunce First Floor Restroom To Become Exclusive Berlin Nightclub, Bear-Ghain.
Have you ever used the women’s restroom on the first floor of Faunce? If your answer is ‘yes,’ then you’ve no doubt navigated the mysterious...
Report: Brown Noser Refuses to Accept Hot Applicants, Claims it Undermines Club’s Core Values
In a recent interview with the Brown Noser that definitely is not fabricated, the publication stated they will not accept any hot applicants because it...
Men May Have the Patriarchy but They Do Not Have Morning Skinny
With a certain presidency already off to a rocky start, let us find comfort in knowing that men may have the patriarchy, but they will...
Why I Believe All Banks Should Be Piggy-Shaped
On a great lack of whimsy.
Rats Outraged at Lack of Rodent-Sized Amenities at The Ratty
The Rib’s intrepid dining hall reporters recently were served a piping-hot plate of tea, straight from the smallest and furriest residents of the Sharpe Refectory,...
I Hate The Lindemann
I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I hate the Lindemann I...
Shaving Their Initials Into Your Pubes and Other Ways You Can Manifest Love this Valentine’s Day
Channel your feminine energy into something productive—like a man!
List of “Flagged” Words Grows to Include “Emilia Perez” and “Empathy” Among Others
In a report reviewed by The Rib, the infamous list appears to be growing with the terms “Green”, “Peer-Reviewed”, and “Twink” joining the ranks.
Brown Investment Group (BIG) Definitely Not Compensating for Anything
The Brown Investment Group, BIG, released a statement earlier this week to let everyone know that they’re definitely not compensating for anything. “I’m in BIG...