Happy Halloween, you crazy teens! Before we get started, I’d just like to say, if you’re a senior graduating in May reading this article: get out now. You’re done here. This article isn’t for you. Please close the tab immediately. Thanks for your time.
Now that’s all out of the way! All you spring chickens out there, I’m here to drop the skinny on one of the biggest Halloween parties at Brown: Production Workshop’s Monster Ball*.
Before my senior year, I just never had got around to going to Monster Ball. No idea why considering I’m such a sickening theater person. I had some certain expectations about the event but expectations always go awry, don’t they? I’m looking at you, midterm I thought I would’ve written by now.
Now that I have popped my Monster Ball cherry, I’m here to give a side by side comparison of what I expected the night to be like versus how it actually panned out. I encourage you to use this as a guide for next year when figuring out how you’ll be spending your Halloweekend.
Expectation: I was going to be waiting for H O U R S in the freezing cold before being let in:
All of my friends who’d been to Monster Ball before warned me that unless we camped out, like, the week before the event, we probably would have to wait until the wee hours of the morn to be let in. I was extremely apprehensive that my friends and I were not going to make it into this exclusive event.
Reality: My friends and I showed up at 10:45 and only had to wait about ten minutes before being let in:
Truly, my friends and I headed over around 10:30 but realized we were too early and lame, so we officially showed up at 10:45 and…actually didn’t have to wait that long. Huh. There were a couple people in line that we socialized with, and when we were let in, we even got some good pizzy ‘za. If you’re planning on attending this event next time around, be punctual but feel free to return all the camping gear you preemptively purchased.
Expectation: Someone was going to touch my butt
I haven’t had my butt touched in a while and I’d heard reports that the overall ambiance of Monster Ball largely lent itself to on-the-dance-floor spooky schmoozes. I was ready to dive in and make that instantaneous connection with a mysterious stranger in the room. Perhaps it would be someone that appreciated my Louise Belcher costume and the implication that I had very good taste in animated comedies.
Reality: No one touched my butt and I had to witness everyone around me getting their butt touched
Unfortunately, I am sorry to report that my butt went untouched that night. I mostly hung out with my friends so that’s probably on me– and I’m incapable of normal flirting, so that also didn’t help. More unfortunate is that everyone around me seemed to find love in a hopeless place and I saw about uhhhh fifteen thousand different people schmoozing and grinding and butt touching just all up in my biz. Tragic. If you are more socially apt then me, you probably will be a lot luckier than this old fart.
Expectation: The night’s playlist was going to comprise solely of ABBA’s playlist
Again, sickening theater kids. I expected nothing less than a completely ABBA-filled playlist and if I didn’t get that WELL I didn’t see how we could possibly get a pumping party rhythm going.
Reality: They played “Dancing Queen” but also other mega-classic hits
Okay, maybe I was aiming too high with that last one. They did play the best ABBA song ever and tons of other classics, including but not limited to “All Star” by Smash Mouth from the critically acclaimed movie, Shrek. Which, is really all any college teen needs to get the party started.
Expectation: I was going to have a p good time
I knew that like the bare minimum I was going to leave the Upspace and thing to myself, “golly that was certainly a good time, wasn’t it?” But actually what happened was…
Reality: I had a great time and felt emotionally fulfilled hanging out with my friends
Sike!!!! I totally had a GREAT time, stellar party, 9/10. The one point’s deducted because my butt was not touched, although I’m not sure how the event could have been organized to make that happen. If you have any suggestions, please leave them in the comments below.
Take my review with a grain of salt when planning your next Halloweekend, but above all, keep it real; keep it spooky.
*Disclaimer: I had a Very good time at this event plz don’t misconstrue any satirical comments. Also this review is not sponsored by PW. Shoulda nabbed that sponsor.
Image via and Sarah Clapp.
