LinkedIn stalking is nothing like Facebook stalking. It’s actually the LEAST CHILL way to find out information about someone. If you have a LinkedIn account, you know this. You know this because you’ve gotten a notification that says “so-and-so viewed your profile” before. Looking at someone’s profile to connect with them after that first business handshake? Acceptable. Professional. Just common etiquette, really. But looking someone up on LinkedIn that you have no intention of working with because they’re your ex…now thats a lot to unpack.
Despite all this, I think most women can say they’ve been stalked on LinkedIn. I know I have. And I get it, my LinkedIn profile is sexy. Deeply exaggerated job descriptions, interesting #corporate articles being shared, endorsements left and right, and connections on CONNECTIONS, baby! Words like “self-starter,” “dynamic,” and “proficient” just jumping off the damn page. I would hire myself in seconds. So I get the appeal, but people need to learn some self-restraint.
My most perplexing of LinkedIn stalkers is my ex-boyfriend from high school. You might be thinking, that’s to be expected. He probably was just really heartbroken and wanted more contact after you dumped him. And you’d be right, but the thing that doesn’t make sense is that my ex-boyfriend blocked me on every form of social media (except LinkedIn, apparently) about a year ago. I’d be blissfully ignorant of his Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, or Twitter stalking, but he took that opportunity away from himself!
There are three possibilities here.
- He has no idea that I’m getting notifications of this (unlikely, who doesn’t know that?).
- He specifically wants me to be getting notifications that he’s looking at my profile (creepy).
- There is something specific about LinkedIn that he prefers over other social media platforms.
Number 3 makes the most sense to me. Maybe he just wants to look at my professional-but-sexy profile picture 😉
But let’s be real here. If this was just about seeing photos of me, knowing what I’m up to, or seeing if I’m dating someone else (lol no) then he had endless opportunities to do that. From my perfectly poised (aka fake as shit) instagrams to my drunk selfie on my snapchat story to my stupid retweeting of memes, he had total access my social media alter egos. So what does it mean that he blocked me on every conventional form of social media but still continuously stalks me on LinkedIn?
What could he possibly be getting out of that? Does he want to endorse me for my heartbreaking skills? Write me a recommendation that says I’m a lying spineless cold-hearted bitch? Does he get off on seeing my professional successes… or lack thereof? Or is it just that we as college students have gotten too wrapped up in the culture of internships, interviews, Goldman Sachs, and whatever other corporate bullshit being forced down our throats? Is it that there is literally nothing else about me that matters to my ex-boyfriend anymore but how far I have climbed the corporate ladder and if I could potentially just put a good word in for him with my boss?
Well, the world may never know. And let’s hope my ex doesn’t ever know that I wrote this. I did just add The Rib to my LinkedIn profile… fingers crossed!
Image via Sarah Clapp, via Mira Ortegon
wow sounds like me , curious i was, never got over her but she blocked me , and your ex probably hasnt either got over you , i looked this up to see if i was a mad man, made me feel better ! thank you