He’s Not Like Other Guys, He’s a Super-Spreader

Ok, I know I say this a lot, but this time I really think I’ve found the one. This guy’s sophisticated, sociable, super well-travelled– he’s a super-spreader.

I know what you’re thinking, but he’s not like all these other guys I’ve dated. His smile is contagious, his laughter infectious… he totally takes my breath away!

He’s incredibly out-going, too. Most guys these days are shy, reserved, afraid to stand out… they stay cooped up in their pods and double mask– boring! Not my super-spreader. Just last weekend, he saw 150+ people over two days– he really is the life (and, sure, potentially the death) of the party!

After hanging out with him just once last week, I feel… different. The other night, I woke up dizzy, disoriented, drenched in sweat (is that a wet dream? I believe that’s called a wet dream). In any case, I think I’m coming down with a love bug! Ugh, he literally gives me the chills.

I know, I know… this all sounds too good to be true. He’s way out of my league! Well, don’t worry– he actually told me the other day that he ‘has no taste’. Score!

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