A Series of Unfortunate Hook-ups: Part II
Two years ago, I spoofed Lemony Snicket’s “Series of Unfortunate Events” for my debut on The Rib by cataloguing the absurd hook-ups that defined my...
Ratty Romance (And Other Dining Hall Dream Dates)
I had a dream that I got hit on at the Ratty salad bar. An at-night dream, an aspirational dream, both—who’s to say? The point...
I Was Sexy (and Then I Finished Reading)
I discovered my sensuality in the Ratty. No, this is not a joke. On a chilly Saturday morning, I sat down to breakfast in the...
Is Everyone Having Sex Without Me?
I have found that the idiom “the walls have ears” applies weirdly and surprisingly well to university life. Last year in my freshmen dorm, I...
Commitment Issues with Netflix
Dear Netflix, Hey, it’s me again. I know we haven’t seen each other in while, but I’ve been doing some thinking on my own. Our...
I Watched Like Every Leonardo DiCaprio Movie Over Spring Break and This Is What I Learned
Ah, my first ever college spring break. I couldn’t wait to get drunk and party! Quick note: “drunk” for me means drinking Martinelli’s Sparkling...
My iPhone and I took a break, and now our relationship is stronger than ever.
A few months ago, my iPhone and I were going through a rough patch. Whenever I was waiting in line or riding in the car...
How To: Lion Sexualization
A couple weeks ago, I was walking across the Main Green when I heard a girl ask her friend, “How do you sexualize a lion?”...
On Weddings (More Specifically, Mine)
Last weekend, I went to my cousin’s beautifully scientific wedding. To steal a line from beloved SNL figure and cultural correspondent Stefon, this wedding had...
Secondhand Embarrassment: Creative Coping
As someone burdened with the curse of secondhand embarrassment, I feel awkward and uncomfortable on others’ behalf more often than not. This can interfere with...