My Summer Fling with MATLAB
Summer loving, had me a blast Summer loving, happened so fast I met a girl, crazy for me Met a proprietary programming language, cute as...
Seeking Fame And Fortune (But Mostly Fortune)
For the most part, I’m pragmatic. Okay, that’s a lie. I believe way too many celebrity conspiracy theories, think the show Ghost Adventures is good...
Boys Don’t Understand My Clothes
There is one conflict in hookup culture not-so-well addressed: the conflation of high fashion and the boys who attempt to quite literally see what lies...
My Mother, Tinder Goddess
A Joint Piece by Sarah & Christine Loftus Master My mother, the incomparable Christine, recently made her grand re-entry into the world of dating. As...
The Way We Were: University of Maryland, 1976-1980
Special Guest Correspondence by Anne Rajagopalan College life is always evolving. The 1960’s had gentle acoustic, deeply meaningful music; flowing homemade peasant dresses; a Oneness...
My Mom Hates Mother’s Day
Ah, Mother’s Day. What better time than an internationally recognized holiday is there to show my mom how much I love her? Unfortunately, my mom doesn’t...
The Misadventures of Sexually-Frustrated Susie: The V-Dub Waffle
*Author’s note: it’s fiction, mom. Fiction! I’m not actually that sexually attracted to waffles.* Sophomore slump had been real. Susie was unsure of everything —...
A Letter from Teresa Giudice to her Jailed Husband
On March 23, Joe Giudice, husband of The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice, reported to federal prison where he will spend the next 41...
A Series of Unfortunate Hook-ups: Part II
Two years ago, I spoofed Lemony Snicket’s “Series of Unfortunate Events” for my debut on The Rib by cataloguing the absurd hook-ups that defined my...
Ratty Romance (And Other Dining Hall Dream Dates)
I had a dream that I got hit on at the Ratty salad bar. An at-night dream, an aspirational dream, both—who’s to say? The point...